I can read your thoughts. What a lovely title. Emily must have something beautiful to share with us today.
Type, and ye shall deceive. This post has a nice message, but can possibly be best described as a ranty-pants post in disguise. With silver linings and roses and all manner of nice things to make it palatable.
I've noticed a theme in some recent blog posts and articles by stay-at-home mums. Posts of the 'woe is me, I'm so unappreciated, my hubby/boyf/life partner doesn't understand how much I do' variety. 'He gets to go to work and have grown-up conversations about real-life issues while I'm at home singing nursery rhymes. I just want him to thank me from time to time. That's all I want.'
And sure, it sounds reasonable. It's a tough gig, and we all deserve thanks. But I just have to ask you: do you thank hubby?
Do you thank him for leaving his child(ren) to go off to work? Do you thank him for working? Do you thank him for commuting? Do you thank him for catching your child(ren) when you throw them at him the minute he walks through the door?
I do. I used to get in a Cam-doesn't-appreciate-me funk that was toxic for everyone and fun for no-one. One night over dinner with friends, someone asked Cam about a project he was working on, and I realised I didn't even know about it. I hadn't asked. And it made me think about all of the things that Cameron does for our family.
It's a long list.
So I started thanking him. I thank him for working, commuting, paying the bills (and I don't mean because it's 'his' money, but because he actually arranges the payments), organising the renovations, being Mr Builder man himself on the weekend (he is so spunky in singlet, shorts and tool belt... ahem, sorry), cooking and cleaning when I need to get work done, and generally for the life we lead together. I ask about his day, his work and his projects. I tell him how great he is with Ashleigh, and how much she talks about him all day.
And he thanks me. He thanks me for cleaning, for cooking, for the seemingly endless supermarket trips, for the little things and the big things. He thanks me for putting my corporate career on hold so that someone is at home with Ashleigh. He thanks me for teaching her things, singing her songs, playing games, and for (usually) displaying patience when I'm with her. And he tells me I'm doing an amazing job. Because, let's face it, we all need to hear it from time to time.
Of course, it's not always happy happy joy joy in the Hawker household. We don't live in Pleasantville. But the petty grievances are much easier to deal with when the mutual appreciation factor is generally high.
End of ill-disguised ranty-pants post. Almost. You want to be appreciated more? Send some appreciation of your own out there and watch it come back.
Agree? Disagree? Feeling unappreciated and full of woe, or happy and loved?